I have personally benefitted from grief counseling with a licensed therapist when I lost my mother in 2009 and sister in 2015. I highly recommend people who are hurting to get the help and healing that they ned.

I approach maintaining a strong and vibrant mental health like I view practicing dental health: I need to "brush" every day and see a professional regularly. For me, seeing a professional means visiting my therapist sometimes once a month and sometimes once every other week I have discarded the old, toxic mentality that to be a man means to "be tough!" My experience, along with millions of other African-American males, illustrates you don't have to "man up!" Talking and sharing makes life better. As my son Solomon has trademarked: o "It's OK Not To Be OK." We don't have to mask our emotions and/or shield our concerns or fragility. Aside from regular exercise, daily prayer, steady meditation, strong/meaningful relationships and deep spirituality, therapy helps me stand up and thrive every day. There is NO stigma in practicing strong, frequent, and meaningful mental health development! It's important to remember that the statistics below highlight the flip side of not practicing mental health daily.

As a young Black man growing up in the sixties, I was "macho to the bone." Deeply rooted in the Black culture and Black identity. One cultural custome was that Black men didn't go see a psychiatrist. I joined the Air Force after graduating high school with plans to make for a career in the military. After witnessing the traumatic death of a fellow airman, I became withdrawn and depressed, I did not re-enlist, I did not make a career of the military. I also did not seek help. After nearly 50 years of silence, I spoke out loud about my experience prompting treatment by a psychiatrist for PTSD and stress. Unfortunately for me, I had gone so long without getting any form of help that some of my psychological problems were now ingrained into my psyche. But the most important ending to my story is that I have no regrets of going to get help. The greatest relief I have is not having to hide my mental condition anymore. I have been getting treatments for the last seven years. No, I am not crazy, and noone views me as such. Men, a mental health issue left to itself is dangerous for everyone. Wake up, get real--the life you save may be your own.

For too long, we have been told to "suck it up, " "man up, " "real men don't cry," or "don't be no punk," just to name a few. The truth is that in those instances, our grief, anxiety, or depression is festering inside of us like the pus of an infected and untreated sore. We must first feel free and feel that it is acceptable to show our emotions outside of joy or anger. Only when we feel free and comfortable will we be able to seek the help we need and, most importantly, feel comfortable enough to open up and share our pain so we can heal.